One of the happiest moment in life is when you find the courage to let go of things you cannot change
Many of us are familiar with this situation. You have split up but ex would just not stop calling. They blow up your phone with calls and messages. Want to hang out. Do all the same things you did while in the relationship.
At first glance, this seems flattering. Probably they are still very much in love with you, finally realized your worth and want you back. Hold up! This might not be the case.
On your part because the hurt is still fresh, the mind muddled with confusion so you fall in line with their wishes.
You are at their beck and call. You really want to please, maybe it would further motivate the reconciliation. Everything seems great now but there is a snag. The direction of ‘this’ unknown. You do everything but define ‘this thing you both are doing’.
There is nothing more exasperating than not knowing where you stand with someone you really care about.
Until one day, you muster up courage and ask ‘what are we we’? ‘Are we back together’?
And the response goes like- I really like you and enjoy hanging out with you, doing stuffs with you (which may include physicaĺ intimacy) but i am not ready for a relationship now. Crap!
What? There is a sudden feeling of nausea, you could literally taste it. How dare him/her. How can he do this? I thought we were back together. (Sorry Darling, you weren’t )
Now it becomes double tragedy because you have to relieve the pain of rejection again with your self esteem at the lowest point.
How did i get here? You continually ask yourself.Why was i stupid to get roped in again?
To be fair, we are emotional beings. Emotions increases our vulnerability and we make poor choices at the peak of sentiments, it could be anger, sadness or joy . We tend to act irrational under its influence. White becomes grey or black as pink. The aftermath of a breakup is a rollercoaster of different emotions, especially if you were invested in the relationship so obviously, you are not thinking straight.
Many people are scared of being alone and since they are yet to find a replacement, decide to use you as a temporary convenient means of release for the time being. It sucks right? But it is what it is.
The truth is humans are so egocentric. We are basically driven by ego.
If someone has taken you for granted before, there is a 99% chance they will come back to prove to themselves you are only one call away.
It could also be your ex is bored and using the familiar ‘you’ to entertain themselves.
And this will go on as long as you allow it.
‘I miss you does not mean lets get back together.’
The frequent calls and messages from them should not mean a thing to you if all they do is string you along without a definition.
Just because they won’t let you go does not mean they still want you.
They won’t leave yoy alone but are also not ready to take you serious. It is an emotional drag and you, a dog on a leash.
Does this situation ring a bell?
If yes, please, put a stop to it. You deserve more than part time love affair. You deserve way more than someone who seeks only to take advantage of you. Love is a gift and should be given wholeheartedly. The longer the charade drags on, the more you prevent yourself from healing wholly and attracting the love you truly deserve.
It may be difficult to break the entaglement, i know but think about all the damage this is doing to your mental and emotional wellbeing.
The confusion, sleepless night, emotional tussle, and most importantly, your dignity.
No level of past investment in a relationship is equal to sacrificing your peace of mind and future joy over.
There might be a few cases an ex genuinely wants to come back to make things right but you can only know when you are in a better state of mind and your clarity is not fogged.
So my Lovely, the ball is in your court to make this life-changing decision. I truly hope you understand you need to love yourself and put YOU first. Disconnect yourself from this negative cycle.
Be rid of baggages from the past. It has nothing new to say. Even if you have to block numbers, unfriend on social media. Whatever will give you peace. The future is before you. No one has power over you than what you give to them. You are in charge.
Feel free to comment and share your stories if you are struggling with this or know someone who have overcomed. Your experiences can touch a soul.
You are loved 💜💛💚.
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