How to deal with an emotionally unavailable guy

Love is in its expression. Anything less is sham.

Why do we get involved with emotionally unavailable men?

Before we get to the how, lets tackle the why. Why do we fall for these type of men despite knowing what they are?

I also need to clarify that emotionally unavailable does not mean evil or bad. It just means the person is not seeking for something serious at the moment and you need to know this. If you are also seeking fun with no strings attached. This is the guy for you. But beware things can only remain causal for so long.

This being said, why? It could be one of these two things;

First:-

We fall in love with idea of what the relationship will be after we fix him and not what it really is now. It is a journey of illusion.

How can we continually ignore the dull ache in the pit of our stomachs telling us something is wrong? The unsettled feeling? When together you feel ecstatic but don’t get the same vibes apart.

You are consciously aware you both don’t connect on a deeper level but persist hoping against hope he will come around one day. Maybe you should give more, do more, show him you are different. By any chance, it could change his mind. Girl, how can you go on like that? Lets admit it. He is unavailable.

Now, to be lucid, before we get to the how, lets tackle the why. Why do we fall for these type of men despite knowing what they are?

I also need to clarify that emotionally unavailable does not mean evil or bad. It just means the person is not seeking for something serious at the moment and you need to know this. If you are also seeking fun with no strings attached. This is the guy for you. But beware things can only remain causal for so long.\nThis being said, why? It could be one of these two things;\nFirst:-\nWe fall in love with idea of what the relationship will be after we fix him and not what it really is now. It is a journey of illusion.\nHow can we continually ignore the dull ache in the pit of our stomachs telling us something is wrong? The unsettled feeling?

When together you feel ecstatic but don’t get the same vibes apart.\nYou are consciously aware you both don\’t connect on a deeper level but persist hoping against hope he will come around one day. Maybe you should give more, do more, show him you are different. By any chance, it could change his mind. Girl, how can you go on like that? Lets admit it. He is unavailable.\nNow, to be lucid, I am not implying change cannot occur but it will only take place if the person in question is willing. We all have the potential to reform, improve and evolve but the snag is do we actually implement it?

As you wait for him to have a moment of epiphany, time is ticking away. Your chances to have committed love is passing by.

Imagine continually pouring into a man emotionally closed? The pain of discontent which will be your permanent companion. The rush of worthlessness as you cannot figure out why he won’t choose you over everything else.

Do I even need to mention the constant feeling of hopelessness of trying to figure out how the change will happen and if and when he will finally commit totally to you?

Bottom line is, we cannot refine anyone no matter how hard we want it. True, our actions of love and giving may inspire them and put them on the path of transformation but that is totally up to them.

The question is, ‘Are you ready to wait?’ It might take a lifetime. Darling, you deserve so much more.

From another angle, it could also be you choose emotionally unavailable men because you are emotionally unavailable too due to past hurts and betrayal which may have caused you to close up and build high walls so consciously or unconsciously, you gravitate towards men who will not make efforts to climb these walls or go past the surface. Technically in your mind, you have secured yourself from hurt.

The sad thing here is we will never truly experience love if we keep our guards up always. A healthy relationship requires two people who are READY to be vulnerable with themselves. And we cannot let past hurts prevent us from experiencing the joy awaiting us now. Pain changes us. We might find ourselves making negative resolutions based on it and this is what I want us to address.

If any of this resonates with you and you crave change, sit back, grab a glass of water, go on reading and find out how to deal with this ‘a ituationship’.

I mentioned before the possible Signs you are with an emotionally unavailable man so going forward, here are tips on how you can handle one if you are in this predicament already;

1. What do you want?

This is an essential question you have to answer truthfully. Do you want a relationship without depth or substance? A relationship where you can never truly feel peace because of the constant turmoil within? Would you let pain of the past take over your life and happiness?

2. Tell him what you want

Now you have defined what you want, does it tally with what you are getting now? YES? If No, have a talk with him and in clear terms without mincing words, let him know how you feel, what you want and make it clear you are not ready to settle for less than that.

It has been said that the most attractive women are the ones who truly know their needs and stay true to it without fear of judgement or shame. Truth be told, we naturally have lesser value for things or people we can treat anyhow without any resistance or complain.

If you give him all your all while being satisfied with the small chunks of efforts he puts in every now or then, you are selling yourself short. Ironically, rather than it endear you to him, it negatively affects how he sees you as he believes he can do anything and get away with it.

3. Patience is key.

This will take the pressure off you or the person. Don’t inundate them daily with expectations. Choose your words carefully and also give them reasons to trust you. It might just be the magic key. It is hard but can work in some cases.

More importantly, don’t be afraid to walk away. Your liberation starts when you lose the fear of ‘what if’. Regardless of whatever happens later, being happily single is better than sacrificing a lifetime of happiness for a mediocre relationship.

The world is yours, what do you want out of it?

Make up your mind now but always remember you are worthy of love of the pure kind.

You are loved💕💕💕💕

Angel

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33 thoughts on “How to deal with an emotionally unavailable guy

  1. Rajini says:

    “Bottom line is, we cannot refine anyone no matter how hard we want it. True, our actions of love and giving may inspire them and put them on the path of transformation but that is totally up to them.” This is a beautiful statement and an undeniable fact, not realising this is the only cause for disillusionment despite good intentions. Dealing with even “normal” persons, we are subject to disappointment caused due to our failed intentions, so what to think of emotionally unavailable or imbalanced? it is only by our sincere prayers to God and our strong faith and hope that can provide solutions, of course, as you have nicely mentioned, time is a great healer, and we need to have a lot of patience, continuing our efforts, and waiting for it to happen, because there is a time for everything.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. SCLMRose says:

    The magic must be there from the start. I’ll be married 49 years on May 29. Changing a man is not going to work. Men don’t change no matter what they say. I know someone who married one thinking she could change him. Marriage fell apart in a week.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. JOY journal says:

    Solid advice. Ah, men. As a mid-life mom with young teen daughters, I have an additional piece of wisdom I’ve just been waiting to share — lucky you!! 🙂

    Here it is: Do you REALLY want a guy who doesn’t know if he wants you? Dating women really should think this one through. I wasted some valuable years not doing this. But, when I met the man I married, we just made sense as a couple. I knew I would marry him after our first date.

    It’s true, ladies. Do not waste your time on a guy who’s not ready or not that into you. Let him go and find someone who really wants to be with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anne Copeland says:

    So many young people especially (but also older ones as well) get together with a person because they believe what they want to see and hear and feel, and often it has nothing to do whatsoever with who the person really is. There is a saying from a book, Advice from a Failure, by Jo Coudert, a former actress and writer who is no longer with us, and in her book, she says this: “Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave nor lose. To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.” Thank you very kindly.

    Like

  5. tsepotheview says:

    When you are in a relationship you need emotions of your partner expressed and basically love is an emotional thing so if your partner is not showing any emotions then there is no love there…

    Like

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