Would you allow someone to come into your home, ransack everywhere, mess up your kitchen, clothes, and just leave?
But this is what happens when we don’t set boundaries. People would come into your life and walk all over you because you don’t put up any resistance. To set boundaries is a way to protect yourself and keep your respect because the more people get away with disrespecting you, the more they do it.
There is an adage that says if you give people 1mile, they would walk 10miles. If you value yourself, set boundaries. There should be a stop sign people encounter when they cross certain lines with you. It implies, retrace your steps, I am not putting up with this.
Personal boundaries define your identity. It is like a fence and doors around and in your homes. It tells people where they can go and where to stop. This is me, what I value. What I can do, what I believe, need and feel. This is not me. Good boundaries ensure we have great relationships because we know who we are, There are no blurred lines.
Jesus had values that he put a priority on — sometimes even over the needs of other people — and He did so without guilt. Mainly, His soul care had to do with separating himself from people to be alone with God, who He called “Abba” (Father). Jesus lived in a cadence of life that not only kept him free from burn out, but also kept him full of God, grace and truth, and therefore ready and able to be compassionate and generous in his response to people.
Here are examples of boundaries Jesus had
1. He didn’t let His mother and brothers use their relationship to draw him away from his ministration. Matthew 12:46-50.
2. He said no to Herod’s request, Show us a sign that you are the Son of God. He had nothing to prove. Luke 23:8-9
3. He didn’t sit at tables of people who didn’t want or trust Him. Matthew 13:58
4. He taught us to be confident with our Yes or No. Just say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ — anything else you say comes from the Evil One.”
Matthew 5:37 GNB
And since we are to imitiate Christ, then personal boundaries are a must have. Jesus wants you to care for yourselves as He does with you. When we set boundaries, we give priority to our overall wellbeing.
So Here are a few boundary points you can use-
Don’t yell at me.
Don’t raise your hands on me.
Don’t humiliate me or talk down on me both in public or private.
Don’t use abusive words when we disagree.
“I can’t lend out my car. I am the only person paying for it.
I can’t give any more money but would be happy to help with something else.”
I am allowed to say no if I don’t feel comfortable with your request.
Yoy can choose to walk away from Certain conversations that smear dirt on your values.
You can decide how accessible you want to be for others. It is okay to offer a listening ear to people struggling, but sometimes, we become too accessible that we lose our time to develop intimacy with God.
To love others does not automatically make you a yes man or a defunct people pleaser. It is okay if you would be unable to attend the event, it is okay you are unable to help out your neighbour that one time. It is okay to say no to requests you cannot handle.
You don’t have to be in a relationship with people who try to harm you.
You can walk away from people who tear you down at every chance they’ve got.
As a Christian, guard your heart. protect your journey. Draw the lines. What you allow will continue.
Be true to your Christ given Identity. once your boundaries are clearly stated and enforced, your mind would be stable and at peace.
God loves a cheerful giver. But you cannot be cheerful if you constantly take on more than you can handle or allow people to push your buttons without resistance. Give but make sure you are pouring from a place of fullness not pain. Without boundaries, you would lose a sense of who you are.
What boundaries do you need to set today?
You are Loved💙💜💛